I'm Just the Dog Around Here

His name is actually Brendon, which better befits his noble ancestry - but they call him Anton, because it's apparently easier to shout out. They have acquired one of these horrible dog whistles - because they imagine he'll hear them better that way. They even drag him to pet obedience training - because they think they can only be a proper master and mistress if he does every stupid thing they demand of him on command. But the cat can do whatever it likes! Why they ever took her in is beyond any dog's comprehension. And anyway: who can make sense of people?! They like to think of themselves as creation's crowning glory, but they just don't know a thing. Not even that cats don't belong on the sofa. Dogs, yes. Cats, no. Why then don't dogs just run away, you may wonder? Because humans, once you have trained them, can be relied on to feed you, and because luckily they don't realise what end of the lead they're actually on.